Tuesday 19 January 2010

Doubt: Is it a good thing?


Doubt, some say it is a taboo among good friends and even best friend. Because most people believe in one of the 'BFF's 10 commandments' code of...


"THOU SHALT NOT DOUBT THY BEST FRIEND"


You often heard "She is my best friend, I trust her! She will NEVER steal!!!" etc etc etc.
It might sounds reasonable at first, think about it, if you doubt your best friend, that would mean you lost your faith and trust on her/him right?

This is certainly not what friends should do!!
Best friends should trust and believe in each other...

Well I'm sad to say, there will always be two sides in a coin.





Let us see another example, in a relationship.
Boyfriend meets a girl and go out with her for a drink, he came back and the girlfriend smell Cacharel women perfume all over his body.

So the girlfriend thinks "I'm his beloved girlfriend, I shouldn't doubt him, I have to trust him, this is what love is all about! Love is about trust..."

WRONG!!!

Doubting is actually good, seriously. Think of it this way, by doubting, you will feel the need to investigate a person thoroughly, by doing so you are actually understanding that person even more.

Some people might argue that "But this is wrong! Trust is important in a relationship! If I can't even trust my own best friend/lover, then how are we going to stand strong throughout all the challenges ahead?"

Well, IMO, that is just an excuse for not trying to understand the person they care the most. Apathy is worse than hatred, those people that believe in "doubting is wrong" is actually being ignorant of self-conscious.
How often we see breakups happen due to distrust that comes out from the so called "TRUST"?

These 'doubting' initially was not so, for them, most of the partner are saying "I TRUST MY BOY/GIRLFRIEND, SHE WON'T DO THIS TO ME." but ended up doubting each other, and blaming each other afterward.



This is a sad case, when people having a wrong mindset of 'doubt' and believe that 'doubting' is of all evil.

Let us take the BOYFRIEND & GIRLFRIEND scenario again, the girl is actually encourage to doubt her boyfriend, by doubting, she might [call] the girl that gone out with the boyfriend and ask politely (not advisable), or she can just ask her boyfriend a simple [ where have you been?] etc etc etc.

Of course one should not show your partner that you are doubting him/her, that is stupid.
Doubt in an 'unknown' manner.

This is not betraying the trust but salvaging the relationship.

What I'm trying to say is, by using the RIGHT tactic, doubting is actually GOOD in discovering what lies beneath. You will learn more about the person you doubt.
If one withdraw their mindset of "DOUBTING IS BAD", then one will find truth in another angle.

Hmmm... So doubt it in a good intention, and be calm when dealing with betrayal (If there is) Life is just a road full of obstacles, it is down to you to make it work.


TILL THEN

HAVE A NICE DAY ^^





Photos are taken from: http://www.freefoto.com,

3 comments:

  1. i got to learn about it...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yes, I agree with you that doubting is a good thing! When you do not trust anyone (don't need to show it so explicitly laa), you firstly don't need to be disappointed if that person you doubt do something bad on you. Therefore, eliminating phrases like

    "Impossible! My BF/GF/Mum/Dad won't do that!"

    Secondly, I also agree with you that when you doubt, you tend to investigate and pay closer attention to the words of the person you doubt. Then, can see what his or her words really mean.

    So yes, I do think doubting is a good thing.

    ReplyDelete
  3. [ann] U should ^^

    [bernard]
    WOW! I never thought that people will actually agree with me, thanks Bernard ^^

    Yes, doubting in a good intention really would bring positive outcome.

    But there will be times that we should just TRUST a person after long period of doubting,
    because no fun/point just doubting all our lives.

    So in conclusion, doubt --> for the new friend
    Trust --> Once you think you had enough of doubting.

    ReplyDelete